“You can't sad trombone yourself.” - Fenner
"This is like breakup music." - Jennie
"Well, I feel broken up." - Ryan, an hour after the Tigers lost
"I found out that he interviewed his girlfriend." - Kay
"On top of his dad." - Sean
"You defended my honor and then you got hoed." - Jennie to Fenner when Simons started a fight with a fake sword.
"I'm not putting that ice dildo in my tea." - Mr.
"Clearly, discrimination is a sport." - Simons, about how Mr.'s story about a student with disability won an honorable mention in the sports journalism category
"Sean, do not steal my food." - Mr.
"All I heard was 'Sean... steal my food.'" - Sean
"It says I'm infected." - Ryan
"You're ruining my first time!" - Wiseman, telling people to be quiet for his first Peter reading
"Where's Sandula?" - Dan Fenner
"He's saboteuring the country." - Rory
"Dan Fenner, you are guilty of smiling." - Rory
"Now everyone thinks my downstairs is gross." - Jennie
"I only date men who drink real Coke." - Jennie
"I hate sports!" - Dan Fenner, sports editor, after the Tigers lost to the Twins
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